One of the things that mindfulness (to use the currently popular term) focuses on is what’s happening now. It’s really nothing more than another way to say “pay attention!” – to yourself, to the world around you, to what you’re thinking and feeling right now. “In the moment”, as they say.
Some time ago I was introduced to a couple of terms that help clarify the alternatives: re-living and pre-living.
“Keep this thought handy when you feel a fit of rage coming on—it isn’t manly to be enraged. Rather, gentleness and civility are more human, and therefore manlier. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance—unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS,
I’ve never understood true anger or rage. It seems so … pointless.
I don’t generally get depressed easily, or when I do, I typically don’t stay in that state for very long.
This is different.
Honestly, since last November there’s been a backdrop of disbelief that’s slowly transitioned into a growing malaise. This last week it took a full-on leap into “WTF?!” territory.
Unfortunately, it’s also been impacting my ability to remain focused and productive, and I’m not sure what to do.
I’m thrilled at the turnout for yesterday’s (January 21, 2017) protest marches, I truly am.
I think that size as well as the diversity of locations around the planet exceeded all expectations. It was a welcome message at a time when I believe we are in serious need of hope.
But it leaves me hanging, with a question.
Now what?
I love technology, but there’s one problem I have yet to solve in a way that I consider “safe”.
I generally carry two devices with me: my mobile phone and a dedicated pocket voice recorder.
I’d rather only carry the first.
When my father fell and broke his hip in 2004 he’d just had his last cigarette, ending approximately 75 years of continuous and occasionally heavy smoking. His remaining years in a nursing home involved weaning off nicotine, followed by periodic searches for his cigarettes which he was convinced he had simply misplaced.
As he aged prior to dementia he would occasionally use his longevity as an indicator that smoking wasn’t really that bad for you.
I knew better than to argue with him.
But … that’s not how statistics and probability work.
With apologies to The Beatles, of course.
There’s a lot of discussion about autonomous cars in the news over the last year or so, and there’s plenty more on the horizon.
There are many, many roadblocks (so to speak) before self-driving cars become a reality. The sad part is that the technology won’t be biggest.
Perhaps more correctly, “put your money where you want your mind to be.”
Much has been made in recent months of the decline in journalism. Specifically, that journalism has responded to changes in our culture and information consumption by becoming less of source of information and more of a source of entertainment. Quoting Seth Godin’s blog this morning: “… newspapers won Pulitzer prizes for telling us things we didn’t want to hear. We’ve responded by not buying newspapers any more.” The implication is that if newspapers and other sources of information want to survive they need to tell what we want to hear.
That needs to change.
“It’s a disgrace in this life when the soul surrenders first while the body refuses to.” —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.29(*)
I’ll be honest, one of the reasons I began this writing exercise, and indeed, one of the reasons I do Ask Leo!, is to keep my mind as sharp and active as possible as I age. To force me to reflect, focus, think deeply, and perhaps as a side effect improve my writing skills along the way.
I’ve taken, and continue to take, steps to try to improve the chances my body will last, but there’s no doubting that as I age its capabilities will slowly wane.
I’d prefer my mind not follow the same path.
(First in a series… I hope.)
Josh Spector of 10 Ideas Worth Sharing asked in his Facebook group “What question would you like to see everybody in this group answer?” – My response? “What did you learn last week?”
Now, of course, I feel like I have to have an answer. In fact, given my recent focus on learning every day, it seems like something I should consider answering every week, even if only for myself.
In the last many months we’ve heard the word “hate” used liberally, often to describe someone who happens to disagree with a position taken on polarizing issue.
We want simple answers to complex problems.
I’m all about the digital, but this is a case where trying to think in binary is seriously off the mark.
I was surprised to find that according to GoodReads, I’ve read over 30 books this year. Honestly, that’s a higher number than I expected. I’ll call a couple of them “also-rans”, meaning I might have bailed early, or given them the “scanning” rather than “reading” treatment, but even so – that the number of “real reads” is even around 25 is gratifying.
So, if Bill can do it, so can I: here are the top five books I found most valuable this year.
In the North American Numbering Plan, telephone numbers all consist of a 3 digit area code, a 3 digit office code (or exchange), and a 4 digit station number. When written the 3 components are typically separated by dashes, or in some cases periods – for example 206-965-9805.
To prevent real telephone numbers from appearing where they perhaps shouldn’t, phone numbers in the range 555-0100 through 0199 are reserved for “fictional” numbers. (Most assume that the entire 555 office code is so reserved, but apparently not.) What this means is that in books, movies or television when a phone number is presented it’s typically a 555 number.
Knowing this, the use of a 555 number immediately breaks suspension of disbelief for many. “Oh, yeah. We’re watching a movie.”
I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude. – Brene Brown
Inspired a bit by this post from Erika Napoletano (not the self-doubt part, the “where I’ve been focusing” part), I’ve realized that my writing has taken on not so much a dark tone, but a serious, contemplative, and occasionally “here’s what’s wrong with the world” kind of tone. While those are important perspectives, and I’ll certainly return to them, I also need to bring balance to my thinking.
Heck, gratitude is what part of this exercise is all about.
“If you grew up where they grew up, and you were taught what they were taught, you would believe what they believe” – Anon(1)
I’ve used this quote before. Back then I said “If more people understood and accepted that, fewer people would die before their time.”
For some reason in recent weeks my thoughts have been returning to that quote.
“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”(1)
The first step to solving any problem is recognizing there’s a problem to be solved. It’s true for everything from personal issues to the trivial problems of daily living to the gigantic questions of our time. You can’t fix a problem you don’t know you have.
Particularly of late, knowledge itself – or rather the illusion of knowledge – is a problem.
Several years ago in a business meeting of some sort the topic of health came up. The conversation, as it so often does, circled around to the topic of the importance of regular exercise.
The stereotype of a computer geek spending all of his or her time at a desk is not that far from reality, and several of us in the room met the criteria. Our response? “Exercise is work! It’s our [desk bound] work that’s actually fun.”.
A few days ago I wrote about how Everyone is Not Your Customer – an argument for focussing your efforts on some subset of “the world” so as to better target your message and as a result get a better response.
At the other end of the spectrum is a lesson that’s proven time and time again exceptionally difficult for most entrepreneurs to learn.
Your customers aren’t like you.
I don’t use profanity a lot, but I’m not averse to it. It has its place. Like any use of words it can make a statement or idea more impactful.
Unfortunately it can also detract, either when used inappropriately, or when taken so.
Profanity, in and of itself, does not offend me. But it does offend some.
And, to be honest, I think that’s pretty sad.
Memories are funny things. Current research indicates that they’re exceptionally fallible and subject to change over time for a variety of reasons. To my way of thinking the further they deviate from actual events, the less of a “memory” they are.
Some of my earliest memories, for example, are what I’ll call indirect memories: memories of a photograph posing as a memory of the actual event.
I do have one specific memory that may qualify as one of my earliest. I say “may”, because it might have been formed when I was somewhere around 3, or 5 years old, or maybe as old as 18. I believe it to be a “real” memory because it involves some things that a photograph can’t capture: sounds and smells.