Where Do Friends Go?

An image capturing the bittersweet essence of friendships fading over time. Depict an autumn park scene with two empty benches facing each other under golden trees shedding their leaves. A pair of distant figures walking away from each other along a winding path symbolizes diverging paths in life.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

It’s easy to believe that friendships, once established, will last forever, or at least a very long time. Particularly when we’re young, there’s little evidence to the contrary.

And then we grow up.

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“Ok Boomer” and the Generational Divide

A 3D animation style scene featuring the phrase 'OK boomer' in bold, colorful, floating letters above a vibrant green field under a bright blue sky with a few fluffy white clouds. and a rainbow
(Image: DALL-E 3)

One thing I dislike about the phrase “OK, boomer”, besides its incredible condescension, is that it pretends all individuals of a certain generation are alike.

Trust me when I tell you we are not.

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The Flag and the Flag

US flag on a flagpole with a progress pride flag beneath it.
(photo: leonotenboom.com)

It was time to replace our well worn U.S. flag, but I was hesitant.

I’d planned on raising the new flag the day after the election, with the assumption that Harris would win. Needless to say that didn’t happen.

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Like? Subscribe! Support!!

A cartoon-style image of a character resembling Elmer Fudd, but with distinct differences to avoid copyright issues. The character is bald, wearing a hunting hat, and a plaid shirt, seated at a desk, leaning toward a computer screen. On the screen, a blog homepage is displayed, titled 'Ducks And Wabbits Weekly,' with a prominent 'Subscribe' button at the bottom.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

“Traditional media” is broken. It’s an echo chamber for singular perspectives that are driven by business and other interests. Examples abound, but the perhaps the most clear was Washington Post’s recent failure to endorse any presidential candidate. It’s a billionaire owner making a decision not because it’s good for the public or the press, but to protect his interests from a certain outcome. It appears to have paid off, perhaps at the cost of the country.

“Social media” is broken. Algorithms control what we see, and what we see is an attention bubble full of engagement bait. Most social media platforms exist only to show us more of what we’ll engage with, rather than what we actually ask for. Platforms that don’t are struggling because people end up finding their feeds, while exactly what they asked for, boring in comparison.

So, what’s the solution?

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Which Love Is It?

Perhaps the biggest misunderstanding of all

On the left, two men are standing and holding hands, both wearing rainbow pins, symbolizing love and acceptance of diverse sexual orientations. On the right, a preacher stands elevated above a fiery pit symbolizing hell, with flames and brimstone beneath. The preacher holds a religious text and gestures as if delivering a passionate sermon about salvation. The scene captures the contrast between love as acceptance and love as saving souls.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

Everyone seems to assume there’s just one definition of “love”: theirs.

One person’s quest to love is another’s heinous act.

And no, this isn’t a sex thing.

It’s a religion thing.

Does love mean accepting people or saving their souls?

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Clapbacks Are Just One Hand Clapping

They’re not as clever, or as impactful, as you think

A PC computer screen showing two people on opposite sides of the screen, pointing fingers at each other and laughing mockingly. Both individuals appear to be engaged in a heated yet sarcastic exchange, with exaggerated facial expressions.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

I rarely go a day without seeing a social media comment that “politician A just put politician B in their place!” or that “A scored massive points with their clapback to B!”.

“A clapback is a quick, sharp, and often witty response to criticism or disrespect. The term is often used to describe a comeback that is particularly effective or memorable.”
– via perplexity.ai

No. Just … no.

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Cancel Culture: It’s Always Been Here

An ancient practice gets a new name

'Cancel culture' in a historical and modern context. The foreground shows a group of people turning their backs on an individual in a realistic modern setting like a busy town square, with natural lighting and vibrant, lifelike colors. In the background, a figure from ancient times is being ostracized in a traditional village scene, also in realistic colors. The scene includes subtle modern elements like smartphones or social media icons to represent how technology plays a role in modern cancel culture.

Cancel culture isn’t new; we’ve done it since humanity’s dawn. It’s critical to a functional society. The fact it seems special lately is due to a) a new name and b) faster and wider communication.

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Things I Learned From My Father

A timely word I remember to this day

A woman in a lush forest. The woman is facing away from the viewer, towards the dense foliage. She is wearing casual hiking attire and her hair is tied up in a ponytail. The forest is vibrant, filled with tall trees, a variety of green shades, and dappled sunlight filtering through the leaves.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

I’ve learned many things from my father, and I’m grateful for all of it.

Some I learned by example, some by counterexample, and some simply by listening to what I was being told.

It’s the latter that comes to mind today. All because of bears.

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What “They” Believe

It’s not as simple as just being “wrong”

Preacher

I ran across this comment via social media the other day.

You don’t have to approve of other people’s choices. You don’t have to like their hair color, their tattoos, or their piercings. You don’t need to agree with their style of dress or how tight their leggings are. You’re not required to agree with their non-traditional lifestyle or their relationship decisions. And you don’t need to like their religion, faith, or spiritual beliefs. What you DO need to do is respect that other people don’t have to live by your rules, because they’re no more important or relevant than anyone else’s. Acting like a decent human being and letting people live their lives should be an easy decision for everyone.

Here’s the problem: if you understand what “they” believe and why they believe it, you’ll quickly see it’s not an easy decision. Not at all.

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Fascism, the Past, and Our Future

Please don’t let history repeat itself.

The Stone Man
“The stone man” (1953), National monument: Prisoner before the firing squad in Camp Amersfoort/The Netherlands. Click for larger image. (Image: leonotenboom.com)

My parents lived in The Netherlands during World War II. The country was occupied by the Germans for several years prior to the war’s end. My parents lived through that occupation, including the famine.

This was not just some “inconvenience”. My father told me stories of diving into ditches to avoid being captured and conscripted by a passing Nazi patrol. He and his brother did get captured once, but in a fit of “either way we’re probably dead” decision making, when they saw an opportunity to run, they did. They got lucky.

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Unexpected side-effects

In praise of reading better stuff

A peaceful scene of a person sitting on a park bench in a lush green park, engrossed in reading from a Kindle. The park is vibrant with blooming flowers and tall trees, casting soft shadows on the pathway. A gentle breeze is rustling the leaves, adding to the serene atmosphere. The person is casually dressed, embodying the relaxation of a leisurely day spent outdoors. Birds can be seen in the background, and the sun is setting, casting a warm glow over the scene. The image should capture the tranquility of a moment spent alone with a book, away from the hustle and bustle of daily life.

When I started 7 Takeaways, my intent was to force myself to read more, better content, by establishing a weekly public deadline where I’d publish something about the items I had come across.

Three and a half years later, I’d say it’s been working. I haven’t missed a week (though there have been a few Saturday cram sessions), and I’ve come across some interesting stuff.

And I have 600+ subscribers to whom I feel a responsibility.

What’s interesting, though, is that it hasn’t affected me in quite the way I expected.

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Unhappy People Want A Cause

A politician at a podium speaking to a large crowd, viewed from behind the speaker. The crowd is filled with a variety of unhappy facial expressions and raised fists, signaling discontent and protest. he background is adorned with red, white, and blue bunting, adding a patriotic element to the scene.

I recently finished reading Magic Slays, book 5 in a light fantasy series by Ilona Andrews, set in an interesting alternate world that includes periods of time where magic is real.

There are factions, and zealots, and conflict, and more. The thing you’d expect from an engaging story.

But a series of paragraphs late in the book, as the characters were preparing for its major battle, caught my attention for reasons I think will become clear.

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Did Tolstoy Understand Social Media?

When words from the early 20th century feel spot-on in the 21st

Leo Tolstoy postage stamp
Leo Tolstoy (Image: canva.com)

As the new year starts, I elected to change my daily reading source. For the past couple of years, I’ve been reading passages from The Daily Stoic. This year I’m starting A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy.

Same idea, an essay a day for the entire year.

Tolstoy grabs my attention right out of the gate on January 1.

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You Are Entitled to Your Opinion

But not absolution from the consequences

Shouting into a bullhorn
(Image: canva.com)

We often hear people complaining they’re being discriminated against, losing friends and acquaintances, and even being “cancelled” because of the opinions and beliefs they hold and express, or the practices they engage in. Somehow they seem to feel that they should be able to hold, express and practice without consequence.

Because, of course, they believe their position is correct. As the One True Answer, it should obviously be honored and respected. Not to do so is, itself, disrespectful.

That’s not how it works.

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Musings on AI, Learning, and Copyright

A photorealistic image representing the complexity and nuances of AI's relationship with copyright and content creation. The scene includes a human figure surrounded by a swirl of books, magazines, love letters, emails, essays, and scribbled notes, symbolizing the diverse content humans consume and internalize. Nearby, a large, abstract representation of an AI language model, depicted as a complex, digital brain-like structure, is absorbing a vast array of similar content, showing the immense scale of data it processes. The background is split into two halves: one side illustrates a traditional library, representing human learning and creativity, and the other side is a futuristic digital landscape, symbolizing the digital realm of AI. The central theme is the comparison of human and AI content consumption and creation, with an underlying question of copyright and originality, subtly represented in the image.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

One of the more contentious parts of the rise of AI is its relationship to the rightsholders for the content on which it is trained. Many consider it blatant copyright infringement.

I’m not so sure.

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You are Someone’s Odd Duck

An Odd Duck
(Image: Midjourney)

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself: huh. Something’s a little off.

Nothing bad, really, just … different.

Not quite right. Not quite normal.

Maybe they’re a little eccentric in some way.

Perhaps you’ve said to yourself (or, *cough*, your spouse) “well, they’re certainly an ‘odd duck‘”.

Have I got news for you.

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Put On Your Own Mask First

Airplane Oxygen Mask Demonstration
(Image: canva.com)

I’m fairly convinced my mother died before she had to because of the stress of taking care of my father, who had dementia.

While trying to be everything to her husband, she failed to take care of her own needs and her own health. The result was not just that she passed away too soon, but even in her own eyes she passed away before what she saw as her job was complete. My father outlived her by four and a half years.

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Appreciating Progress

Work in Progress
(Image: canva.com)

I’ve previously expressed disappointment in people who seem to go out of their way to find fault in good news. They work to snatch negativity from the jaws of the positive.

There’s a related mindset I see that isn’t really negative … but it’s not really positive, either.

It’s something I see arising from black and white thinking and an instant gratification mindset.

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Looking for Negativity

Searching for ... something.
(Image: depositphotos.com)

I publish a daily newsletter called Not All News Is Bad. Several years ago I found myself in need of a reminder that there’s more going on in the world than the shitshow most news sources seem to focus on.

I forced myself to find at least one good news story every day. I started sharing that publicly, and eventually it became the daily newsletter. At this writing, it goes out to about 1,500 subscribers every morning.

It doesn’t happen often, but one thing that makes me shake my head is when a recipient of a good news story goes digging for negativity.

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