Philosophy

The Cost of Failure

And the risk of failure

Icarus flying too close to the sun
(Image: Gemini)

This is an update to an essay I originally wrote a few years ago. It’s a mental model I keep returning to over and over again, especially in light of recent events.

We often judge opportunities based on the potential benefit or “upside” as it’s usually called. If we do ‘X’, we get ‘Y’. Typically, the risk we consider is not getting ‘Y’ if we fail to accomplish ‘X’.

I’ve come to rely on an additional layer to judging both opportunity and risk. I call it the “cost of failure”: what’s the cost of not getting ‘Y’?

It’s quick, easy, and now one of my most important evaluation tools.

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The Family You Choose

Yes, you get to choose

People holding hands, close up of the hands. One hand is older, the other younger.
(Image: Gemini)

“Family” is an interesting word, with more baggage than most people realize. Wrapped up in those six letters are things like biology, culture, legalities, love, guilt, obligation, responsibility, and probably many more words with various and significant implications of their own.

One of the words that you don’t hear as much is “choice”. It’s a concept I’ve come to embrace over the years, and especially in the last few weeks.

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Too Many Choices?

A sign of our changing times?

thousands of musical notes in various styles and sizes wafting up from a pair of speakers
(Image: ChatGPT)

I like to listen to music. Reasonably good sound systems have always been a part of my DNA. One of my very first “big” purchases as a teenager was a moderately high-end receiver, turntable, cassette deck, and high-end speakers. I still have those 50+ year old speakers today (current version).

For decades my source(s) for listening to music were limited to the radio, and the music I purchased — first on vinyl, then CDs, and then digital downloads. Naturally, all of that has changed dramatically in recent years.

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Acknowledging Anxiety

Teddy Bear
(Image: canva.com)

(Updated from a couple of years ago. I was about to write something about “is this what finally kills me” — an anxiety that increases in intensity as we age — and noted that it was already a small part of this larger topic.)

It almost feels trendy to talk about anxiety these days.

In part, I suppose, it’s become more prevalent because of the pandemic, and politics, and social media, and, and, and …

But has it, though? Has become more prevalent, or just more visible?

Based on my experience, I would say: why not both?

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Believing in Magic

Two people sit across from each other at a café table. One has a laptop and a microscope, the other a crystal ball and a notebook of dreams. They’re smiling, mid-conversation, with light from the window casting a rainbow across the table — symbolizing respectful coexistence of logic and belief.
(Image: ChatGPT)

When I refer to magic here, I mean it literally. Like, in the Hogwarts sense.
I believe that creativity is a force of enchantment—not entirely human in its origins.
I heard a respected neurologist say in an interview, “The creative process may seem magical, but it is not magic.” With all due respect, I disagree. I believe the creative process is both magical and magic.
– Gilbert, Elizabeth. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Liz Gilbert believes in magic. Literally.

I support her in her beliefs — not because I think they’re true, I do not — but because beliefs exist for important reasons, even if we don’t all agree on what is and is not true.

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What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

It’s rarely as dire as we imagine

A hand holding a red pill, and a hand holding a blue pill.
(Image: canva.com)

When I was approaching sixteen, it was still important, and even “cool,” to get your driver’s license as soon as possible. In my case, it was extra important, since we were about to move, and I’d need to drive to continue going to the same high school.

No pressure.

Looking back, I’m surprised by the approach I took. It’s an approach that has served me well throughout life.

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Where Do Friends Go?

An image capturing the bittersweet essence of friendships fading over time. Depict an autumn park scene with two empty benches facing each other under golden trees shedding their leaves. A pair of distant figures walking away from each other along a winding path symbolizes diverging paths in life.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

It’s easy to believe that friendships, once established, will last forever, or at least a very long time. Particularly when we’re young, there’s little evidence to the contrary.

And then we grow up.

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Which Love Is It?

Perhaps the biggest misunderstanding of all

On the left, two men are standing and holding hands, both wearing rainbow pins, symbolizing love and acceptance of diverse sexual orientations. On the right, a preacher stands elevated above a fiery pit symbolizing hell, with flames and brimstone beneath. The preacher holds a religious text and gestures as if delivering a passionate sermon about salvation. The scene captures the contrast between love as acceptance and love as saving souls.
(Image: DALL-E 3)

Everyone seems to assume there’s just one definition of “love”: theirs.

One person’s quest to love is another’s heinous act.

And no, this isn’t a sex thing.

It’s a religion thing.

Does love mean accepting people or saving their souls?

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Cancel Culture: It’s Always Been Here

An ancient practice gets a new name

'Cancel culture' in a historical and modern context. The foreground shows a group of people turning their backs on an individual in a realistic modern setting like a busy town square, with natural lighting and vibrant, lifelike colors. In the background, a figure from ancient times is being ostracized in a traditional village scene, also in realistic colors. The scene includes subtle modern elements like smartphones or social media icons to represent how technology plays a role in modern cancel culture.

Cancel culture isn’t new; we’ve done it since humanity’s dawn. It’s critical to a functional society. The fact it seems special lately is due to a) a new name and b) faster and wider communication.

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What “They” Believe

It’s not as simple as just being “wrong”

Preacher

I ran across this comment via social media the other day.

You don’t have to approve of other people’s choices. You don’t have to like their hair color, their tattoos, or their piercings. You don’t need to agree with their style of dress or how tight their leggings are. You’re not required to agree with their non-traditional lifestyle or their relationship decisions. And you don’t need to like their religion, faith, or spiritual beliefs. What you DO need to do is respect that other people don’t have to live by your rules, because they’re no more important or relevant than anyone else’s. Acting like a decent human being and letting people live their lives should be an easy decision for everyone.

Here’s the problem: if you understand what “they” believe and why they believe it, you’ll quickly see it’s not an easy decision. Not at all.

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Unexpected side-effects

In praise of reading better stuff

A peaceful scene of a person sitting on a park bench in a lush green park, engrossed in reading from a Kindle. The park is vibrant with blooming flowers and tall trees, casting soft shadows on the pathway. A gentle breeze is rustling the leaves, adding to the serene atmosphere. The person is casually dressed, embodying the relaxation of a leisurely day spent outdoors. Birds can be seen in the background, and the sun is setting, casting a warm glow over the scene. The image should capture the tranquility of a moment spent alone with a book, away from the hustle and bustle of daily life.

When I started 7 Takeaways, my intent was to force myself to read more, better content, by establishing a weekly public deadline where I’d publish something about the items I had come across.

Three and a half years later, I’d say it’s been working. I haven’t missed a week (though there have been a few Saturday cram sessions), and I’ve come across some interesting stuff.

And I have 600+ subscribers to whom I feel a responsibility.

What’s interesting, though, is that it hasn’t affected me in quite the way I expected.

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You are Someone’s Odd Duck

An Odd Duck
(Image: Midjourney)

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself: huh. Something’s a little off.

Nothing bad, really, just … different.

Not quite right. Not quite normal.

Maybe they’re a little eccentric in some way.

Perhaps you’ve said to yourself (or, *cough*, your spouse) “well, they’re certainly an ‘odd duck‘”.

Have I got news for you.

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Put On Your Own Mask First

Airplane Oxygen Mask Demonstration
(Image: canva.com)

I’m fairly convinced my mother died before she had to because of the stress of taking care of my father, who had dementia.

While trying to be everything to her husband, she failed to take care of her own needs and her own health. The result was not just that she passed away too soon, but even in her own eyes she passed away before what she saw as her job was complete. My father outlived her by four and a half years.

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On Aging and Loss

The bell curve of aging.
(Image: canva.com)

We all want to live a long and healthy life. We want to be the ones making it far through the bell curve of life expectancy. I know I do.

There’s an unanticipated problem with succeeding.

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Contentment vs. Passion

Aspire versus Desire
(Image: canva.com)

Is it possible to be simultaneously content and passionate about something?

By content, I mean in the Buddhist sense of acceptance of the present moment.

By passionate, I mean wanting something more, and feeling strongly about it.

It’s something I wrestle with.

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Which Step?

Road
(Image: canva.com)

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Which step?

Which step is the first step?

Where does the journey begin?

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Connection

I miss people. Wait, what?

Fingertips touching.
(Image: canva.com)

I originally wrote this in January of 2023. At the time, I was considering picking a theme or a word for the new year.

I tend not to do the New Year’s resolution thing. To quote a friend: “I long ago realized I didn’t have to wait for an arbitrary date to make changes in my life”.

However, this year, much like that year, a few things have come together that are making me think a theme might be in order.

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Every Day is an Experiment

Words to grow by

Every Day is an Experiment
(Image: canva.com)

“Every day is an experiment” (also “everything is an experiment”) is a mantra, of sorts, I adopted some years ago. It’s a mental model I find both freeing and empowering.

Treating the world, or life, with the idea that everything you do is an experiment of some sort to be learned from is also an exceptionally powerful path for growth.

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The Best Life Advice Came from Microsoft

And they took it away

Start

It was in our faces the entire time. Right there in the lower left.

Perhaps the most important piece of life advice ever was provided by Microsoft, and we didn’t even realize it.

And then they took it away. We still call it a “Start” button, but the text admonition has disappeared.

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Skeptical to the End

Pearly Gates
(Image: canva.com)

Deity: Hello. Welcome. <spreads celestial “hands”>

me: uh … hi. Where am I?

Deity: What’s the last thing you remember?

me: Going to bed, I think. Yeah, that and a weird dream after I fell asleep. And then, all of a sudden, here.

Deity: uh huh.

me: Am I … ?

Deity: Are you …?

me: Am I … dead?

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