5 Years. And some things never change.

August 10th marks the 5th anniversary of Ask Leo!. Technology changes, some things come and go, but one thing
that never changes is the stream of the odd, the strange, and the
downright … ok, I’ll say it … stupid questions that show up in the
Ask Leo! question queue.

As has been my tradition, it’s once again time to clean the question
barrel, so here are this year’s collection of odd questions scraped
from the bottom.

As always, every question is a real question I’ve received via Ask
Leo! within the last year, presented exactly as I got it (except that
any potentially identifying information will have been removed). Each
“answer” is the answer that I’d be oh-so-tempted to give…
[Warning: there may be “bad words” in some of the
questions. You’ve been warned.]

can u save levels in mario three for nintendo

Yes, I have several.

hi there r u single m8 i have no idea wat ur like

No, and besides, I now have a pretty clear idea of wat
ur like.

Ok so there is this boy. and i hav liked him for a
while. every one wants me to get over him just like that and move on.
He is an ass and i want to get over him so bad but i dont know why i
cant. and i also compare him to other guys. i mean there r so many
other guys. what do i do??????

You go to a computer geek for relationship advice? You
need more help than I can offer.

why is internet bad for little kids

It causes them to start dropping words and punctuation
from their written communication.

advice on landrover freelander are they a good
purchase?? second hand

You go to a computer geek for automotive advice? You
need more help than I can offer.

I Have A Girlfriend Called _____ ____. I Want To Invite
Her To My House But Im Afraid She’ll Say No. What Can I Do To Make My
Girlfriend _____ ____ Say Yes On Coming To My House?

Plaster her name all over the internet, and make sure to
Capitalize Every Word when you do so.

I have a 24 foot box truck how do I find loads for

Back it up to your local political or governmental
facility, and I’m sure they’ll give you a load.

Why is the sky blue?

’cause it would look funny red.

how do i become a quick chenge artist? do i need special
clothes or can i use my own? Can kids do it or not?

Look, Mr. Kent, we’ve been over this before; you start
with a phone booth…

How to change toemail passward?

With a pedicure.

how many people can fit in one american football
stadium? this is for my homework….. my teacher said to ask some one!

Depends on who’s playing. (Clearly she didn’t say to as
someone who cares. hehe)

what does a phychiatrists do?

Corrects plural confusion.

If there is a problem in the genes of the liver cells,
will it effect the next generations ? Why ? ( answer needed )

You go to a computer geek for medical advice? You need
more help than I can offer.

who in holbrook high school fancies me.


who do u love.

My wife. (And maybe Bo Diddley, but still,
has a certain appeal as well.)

hello sir,,,my name is _____ nd i am frm
england..greater manchester…….i just wanted to know that i want to
become an indian actor(BOLLYWOOD STAR)…..nd i am 16 yrz old….i want
to become a star as quick as possible…..so wer shall i go for
advice,acting….nd am i sure they will accept me in the film
industry??……..thanks very much sir

You go to a computer geek for acting advice? You need
more help than I can offer.

why cant i get a straight answer to how many states in
the usa that still have the death penalty

Perhaps because the authorities are still trying to find
you, and don’t want you to pick the wrong state?

what happened to pluto?

A terrible accident involving Goofy, Micky, Minnie a
saddle and a riding crop. Very sad.

What to do when youu think you are falling in love?

Keep thinking.

Will john become my boyfriend?

No, Arthur, he will not.

how to change rear strut on 1988 Mercury tracer?

I’d use a credit card and someone with a clue.

1) How can you add value to this position / Bank? 2)
Give us a summary of your current achievements? 3) Where do you see
yourself within 5 years from now?

You really want me to fill out your job application for
you? Fine, just don’t blame me with the job you’ll get saddled

any natural way breast enhancement?

[Fill in your own punchline. Sometimes they’re best left
to the imagination.]

which famous people attended gianni versace’s funneral
in 1997?

Those that couldn’t make other plans.

what is the Cancer Research Aims,Objectives and
purposes? please answer my question i need it for my study. i am a
business student.

You go to a computer geek for business advice? You need
more help than I can offer.


Not as dumb as sumb.

how can I empty the gas tank on a 1992 Chevrole Lumina
without taking that gas tank of the car

Drive it?

How much were the gladiators paid?

One life per victory.

wiring diagrame for a detached garage taken from the
main consumer unit of the house to garage

You go to a computer geek for construction advice? You
need more help than I can offer.

what is the capital of canada

Some would say Washington D.C.

why are sexy?

There is no why, sexy just are.

how old am i?

Obviously not old enough.

would a fan work in space like if u pluged it up and
turned it on wat would it do please let me know

Of course it would “work”. It would spin very fast and
accomplish nothing. Not unlike many of these questions.


Ah yes, this year’s bad haiku entry:

I spend my life time
cleaning stainless coffee pots
should ‘a quit Starbucks

describe the atomic structure of a carbon atom,
includong the electron energy level

You go to a computer geek for physics advice? You need
more help than I can offer.

Lately I have been really down becasue I am very
confused about my true love.I am not sure if he loves me or likes me.I
havent told him the way I feel because I am scared of being rejected.
How do I no if he likes or loves me at all?

Consult an internet

how do microbes help us?

Well, normally they keep the riff-raff out, but clearly not in
this case…

How many molecules of water are needed to completely
hydrolyze a polymer that is 11 monomers long?

You go to a computer geek for chemistry advice? You need
more help than I can offer.

On USA today ‘photo gallery’ – ‘This week in space’ page
2 it shows a supernova. It is in the Cassiopeai A system which is
10,0000 light years away. The artical states that the star went
supernova 325 years ago. Question – isn’t it unusual for light to
travel 10,000 light years in 325 years?

You’ve clearly never watched Star Trek, have you?

how to create an electromagnetic pulse to disable all

Please, Mr. Jong-il, I keep telling you I can’t help
you. Maybe this

What is the missing scene and the chapter in the novel
named Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone

How did we know it was there in the first place? Clearly
you do, therefore you must have taken it. Please return it immediately,
as Ms. Rowling is in desperate need of another few million.

requirements to be a corporate controller

Knowing who to ask.

how many calories are in a 100g jar of hellmans

Too many.

what is my brothers name and are you gay
you are so stupid i hate you i know where you live and yes you are

My year wouldn’t be complete with this old saw.

What kind of oil does a 1999 eclispe take

Um…. automotive?

I’m 24 and I began to experience marijuana after high
school. I havent tried it in a year or so, does this mean I’m unable to
learn computer programming? I want to persue my education in computer
science. I’m fairly knowlegible of computer operations, but need to
learn more; IS IT POSSIBLE?

From some of the programmer’s I’ve known … well, it’s
hard to draw any conclusions. All I can say is that testing continues.
A lot of testing.

How can i be Expert in window Xp can u provide Me Ebook
that consist every problem solution about Xp operating System

The internet simply isn’t big enough for that ebook.

when did the leaning tower of Pisa start to sink

It’s sinking?

Is it true deer and big game can’t see green colored

I always thought it was headlights that they
couldn’t see.

what is the creation of the illusion of movement in a
computer program by recording a service of imagesthat show slight
incremental changes in one of the displayed objects and by playing
these imahes back fast enough that the eye precieves enough

About a century ago they called it a “movie”, shortly
followed by something called a “talkie”.

Its really great piece of help…. it worked… Thanks
for being so articulated.

Thank you. I do exercise and try to stay limber.

Thanks again everyone for 5 years. We’ll see what the next one brings,
in addition to the usual “are you gay” and requests for advice on topics
I know nothing about.

Prior Years


  1. what a wicked collection! it really made me laugh..

  2. Anonymous says:

    I read the whole collection!