Another year of odd ones

Today marks the third anniversary of Ask Leo! – more on that in tomorrow’s
newsletter.

But as I’ve done twice before, here’s this year’s sampling of some of the
funny, odd or not-so-technical questions I’ve received in the last year on
Ask Leo!.

Note: As always, all questions are absolutely real,
exactly as they come in – complete and unedited.

The “answers” here are what I wish I could reply with. (I typically do not
respond to these types of questions at all.)

•

why is my cousin stupid ? her name is _________

I’m guessing it’s genetic.

Can anyone pls mail the circuit diagram for frequency jammer for my
project work. And please let me know how it operates

I’m sorry, you’re breaking up. Can you repeat the question? Oh, darn … I
lost you.

is afrin gay

It all depends on which orifice you spray it in, I suppose.

my emotions have stopped working and i cant see them but other
people can what is it doing? and how can i fix it??

Not being able to see your own emotions sounds like a deep state of denial.
I recommend a therapist.

can you give me ways of msn please

The Way that can be told is not the true Way; The MSN that can be named is
not the eternal MSN. Or something like that.

how do i make another msn?

I recommend starting with, oh, 50 billion dollars, and a few smart software
engineers. Or just buy AOL.

how do i start the computer ? im blonde

In the back of the computer you’ll find a cord. Pull that a few times until
you hear the computer’s engine start up.

Do you know why people get fat? I am doing a project for face i am a
8th grader and I was also wondering Is it because people eat out to much, drink
to much soft drinks, or maybe it is because they do not exercise. What do you
think? Please get back ASAP

Working at the computer doesn’t burn enough calories.

i for got my question plz help me

It’s ok, I forgot the answer.

can i have got freqency satellite

No. Satellite frequency not have can be gotten.

hi what ru going i have black hair how do i get it to blond plz help
me

Sounds like you only need to let your inner self shine through.

would you happen to know what the drug flexorill is for? and what
the side effects are?

Of course my Electrical Engineering degree and computer experience qualify
me for that, sure. Let me get back to you.

how many legs does a spider have?

More than you can count.

My spell checker in office 2003 pops up constantly. How can I stop
it?

Learn to spell?

you read book old yeller?

Yep. Me cry.

i want program(code) for virtual memory using programming language –
please send me quickly.

Another school assignment? Hope the six month delay wasn’t a problem.

Can me and my boyfriend make it through a long distance relationship
if he’s not allow to have a girlfriend

Perhaps if you’re a boy?

i need cookies to open my mail

Most people use a letter opener, but I guess a really stale cookie could
work.

What if a storm comes during the Fourth Of July firework event in
Twin Falls, ID? What if it becomes to windy to launch the fireworks? How will
you know if they cancel or postpone the event?

I’m guessing you don’t see bright colored lights in the sky.

should i have sex?

Absolutely. Everyone should. Now, as to WHEN…

i want to chat to chris can i

You have my permission.

would you be able to put a 75-100cc engine on a normal stunt bike of
course you would need to get thicker tires. And how much would it
cost?

No, I would not be able to do that.

how can i configer microsoft in outlook express?!

I’m guessing Microsoft cannot be configered. They’ve gotten way too big.

•

2005: The Questions You Didn’t
See
2004: Ask me
WHAT?