Ya Gotta Laugh

No, ya GOTTA

Needless to say, emergencies and emergency surgery, where terms like “paralysis” and “spinal cord injury” are being tossed about, are serious situations. I, in no way, want to minimize that. This is serious shit.

However, looking back at the events of the past two weeks, I note another theme as well, and it’s a theme I believe is partly responsible for my progress.

Humor.

I don’t mean the old adage “if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry”, which certainly has its place as a coping mechanism. What I’m referring to is simply applying humor liberally around the room and the situation.

Consider that you’re in a situation that Is Not Normal. You’re being poked and prodded and questioned by a parade of strangers in a variety of ways that are so far out of the box as to be absurd.

Kathy and I took the approach of joking around. We made fun of the situation, we poked fun at each other, we joked with the trusted friends and family accompanying us, and more. And yes, making sure to “read the room”, the staff were absolutely included in the banter.

On more than one occasion, I said, “Abandon all dignity, ye who enter here.” That’s simply a humorous realization that gowns are awful, (and if you’re tall, as I am, they’re short), and things will be seen and experienced that cannot be unseen. Accepting that and replacing excessive modesty with light humor in an environment where they’ve already seen it all and then some helps ease the tension associated with the various activities.

And to be clear: there was dignity. It’s a different dignity. As I said, it’s more about my working to accept the absurdity of the situation than anything else. All of the staff, top to bottom, did everything appropriate to maintain what dignity was possible. Truly. My letting go allowed them to do their job without some kind of silly modesty crap getting in the way.

And of course, there were jokes. I’ll leave those to your imagination. (Though look up Purewick – they exist for men, and it’s an … experience. You get to pee! In bed! Just don’t get used to it.)

The reason I’m so focused on humor is that it’s an almost universal balm.

• It helps you release your own stress and tension in what are arguably the most stressful and tense situations you might ever experience.
• It gives your family and friends comfort; it’s a little less reason to freak out some more.
• It’s something that, when done respectfully and with “reading the room,” really makes a difference in whether the staff look forward to helping you and perhaps even go the extra mile. I’m absolutely convinced everyone working with me would have done their job, but let’s face it … which room is easier to walk into: that with laughter inside, or that emitting frustration and anger?

Humor is not always appropriate. Not all situations, particularly health or related emergencies, warrant it. Sometimes stress really is the most appropriate, most inevitable, and most human response.

But if you can apply a little light along the way, the ride gets so much better for everyone involved.