Inspiration, perhaps, but limitation? No.
As I continue to improve, I, of course, look to others for inspiration and examples of improvement in the face of trauma or adversity.
I had an interesting observation relating to the limits reached by others in their progress, and how it does — and does not — apply to my own situation.
Perhaps the more common reaction when observing someone else as an example of growth is to see how far they progress. When they come to some plateau, it’s perhaps natural to internalize that plateau yourself. For example, someone re-learning balance after a fall will reach a certain state of stability. Observing that state, it’s tempting to generalize and incorporate that state yourself. That’s as far as “they” went, so it’s a reasonable limit for where I might go.
Of course, that’s not the case at all. They are not you. You have different situations, limitations, strengths, weaknesses, goals, priorities, interests, and more. While their actions can serve as inspiration, their destination is theirs alone. As is yours.
Don’t accept their limits as your limit.
That’s nothing new.
But I encountered a slightly different aspect of this progress comparison that surprised me.
Let’s say your role model exceeds expectations and progresses well beyond what you would consider likely for yourself. That’s great for them, right? But how does that reflect on you?
It doesn’t.
Again, their limits are not your limits, even when their limits exceed yours.
This matters because it’s simply too easy to observe someone make great progress, realize that you’ll never achieve that same progress, and give up on your own further progress as a result.
A writer I follow is an adventure traveler and athlete. I have tremendous respect for her accomplishments and the stories she tells along the way. Injuries and recovering from them, particularly in the face of an agist society, are an important part of her message. The catch? I’d never call myself an “adventure traveler and athlete”. It’s just not a priority. I have other areas in life into which I want to pour my energies, and that’s OK.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn from and be inspired by her. A great example is her focus on rebuilding balance after surgeries, something that is high on my priority list as I recover myself. She’s shared information and techniques I’ll be incorporating into my recovery regimen, for which I’m grateful.
That still won’t make me an “adventure traveler and athlete”, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn from someone who is.
It also doesn’t mean that, as she inevitably surpasses me in capability or recovery speed, I should feel bad about my own progress. My goals are mine, as they should be, regardless of what someone else does.
If I were to say “Oh, I’ll never get that far” when comparing myself to her, it completely misses the point of having a hero / example / mentor / role model. Their goals are not your goals, and your goals are not theirs. They may provide inspiration and example(s) of how to make progress towards your goal, but not with the intent of achieving their goal.
Your goal is your goal. Regardless of what someone else achieves, be it better, worse, or just different than your own, your “job” is to work towards your goal. Always.
Someone else’s progress is not the yardstick by which to measure your own.