On Love Being Love

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I struggle with homophobes.

I have a difficult time understanding their problem. Two people love each other and they happen to have the same genitalia.

So what?

Most will point to a holy book of some sort supposedly banning the practice. There are two serious problems with this:

  1. Said holy books are often wildly inconsistent on the topic. They also include passages implying it as completely normal, acceptable, or at least unremarkable.
  2. The hypocrisy is so strong. People will cherry-pick passages in those books they care to “follow”. At the same time, they’ll completely ignore other passages not fitting their agenda.

As soon as someone references a holy book (any “holy” book) as a justification against non-traditional relationships, I can only tune out.

Some will say “it’s not natural”. What makes it “not natural”? There are assorted animals that practice various forms of same-sex relationships. How is that not natural?

The only argument even close to being worthy of consideration is “survival of the species”.

Human biology currently dictates it takes a biological male interacting with a biological female to produce offspring. Problems with that argument include:

  1. We’re producing enough offspring. Perhaps in the past it could have been an issue because of limited population and high infant mortality, but that’s just no longer the case.
  2. There are plenty of children being abandoned or orphaned, and non-traditional families have been just as effective at raising children as traditional.

As soon as procreation is brought up as justification, I can only shake my head sadly and walk away.

Two people love each other. How can that be evil? And yet some claim it is the basest of evils.

To the homophobes I say: How is it hurting you? Why are you so threatened by it?

I don’t get it.

The lifestyle doesn’t threaten anyone. They’re not forcing anyone to adopt their lifestyle (as homophobes would, given their way). They’re just people in a relationship that happen to have the “wrong” collection of genitalia in someone else’s eyes.

To be clear, I’ve grossly oversimplified human sexuality. This issue is much larger than just genitalia, including sexual attraction, expression, identity, and more.

Again, how is any of this hurting you? Why do you care so much?

Life is not black or white. Life is full of nuance and shades of gray. Human relationships are no exception.

How about this:

Let’s solve the rest of the world’s problems first. War. Famine. Inequality. Poverty. Abuse. Subjugation. Etc.

Above all, let’s cure hatred.

Once those are solved, then maybe let’s have a discussion about whether there’s a “wrong” way for two people to love each other.

Until then, love is love. I say celebrate it in all its wonderful forms.

14 thoughts on “On Love Being Love”

  1. Bravo, Leo.

    I, too, have had my own personal struggle to understand why homophobia (in whatever fashion) exits. I always thought it was because so many people try to force-feed their beliefs to others. You have so clearly spoken, and I would like to pass your thoughts on to several of my dear friends who I believe would appreciate knowing that there are others in the world who are just as puzzled by any form of homophobia or discrimination as they are.

    May I do so (with appropriate attribution, of course)?

  2. Thank you, Leo. This is what is called “allyship,” and I recommend it to any of us not directly impacted by prejudice. A friend of mine had a button she wore that said, “Straight, but not narrow.” I knew I could count on her in public situations to stand boldly alongside me. I am thinking a lot about allyship these days and how I can prepare myself to be ready in an unexpected moment to protect/intervene/de-escalate a fare-up of prejudice and homophobia/racial phobia/etc.

  3. Sigmund Freud book: Totem and Taboo.. Some points of Agreement between mental lives of
    savages and neurotics. Most people will never read this book. Like the Bible that most people have never read. Most people, no matter their religion, have never even opened a book about
    any other world religion, either. Really, people don’t like challenge. Who is it that carries this corpse around, anyway? Dead longer than alive. We are a spark. The earth is 4 1/2 years old.
    Reality escapes all human concepts. We’re all on and off. Everyone’s welcome to align with who they are. Nobody’s keeping score. The fun of it is to like the game and if not, do something different.peace+&-

  4. The west’s “holy book” is very clear (Jesus is speaking in each instance): “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” –John 13:34b-35
    “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” –Matthew 5:43
    “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” –John 14:15

    Love, love, and more love, even of your “enemies”. The lessons are SO clear, but as you say, the hypocrisy is so strong in how they cherry-pick. That’s not Christianity, that’s hypocrisy, and Jesus had plenty to say about that, too….

  5. Spot on! The world would be so much better if everyone stopped trying to force their moral code on others. You do not have the right to tell me what I believe as long as it does not harm you.

  6. Wish I could have have been first to say:: “Leo: “YOU NAILED IT TODAY” but I’m a late sleeper and missed the opportunity.
    So many have commented in very positive ways – there is hope……
    Best as always: Bob d.

  7. Not the most creative comment from me, but very well said. You have articulated my exact thoughts. Thank you for this.

  8. Everyone deserves to be loved and to love. Nothing further needs to be said. This is one of your best writings, thank you.

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