Most people we meet are significantly less secure and less self-confident than we imagine.
👉🏻👉🏻 Significantly. 👈🏻👈🏻
It’s both surprising and sad how often I run into people with unwarranted low self-esteem, or just an inordinately negative picture of themselves or their abilities.
Acknowledging the positive in others is one way to help. You’d be surprised at how huge a difference it can make.
Yup. It can be uncomfortable. For both you and the other person. That tells you just how bad off we are as a society.
Complaints and negative comments? Sure, that’s expected. Compliments? That’s how you make people uncomfortable.
Usually, the discomfort comes from the same root cause: not feeling worthy. Letting people know what they’ve done for you, how they impact you positively, and just acknowledging their skills is one way to chip away at that misperception.
I’m not saying make shit up. A manufactured platitude is worse than saying nothing. It’s obvious, and phoney.
But if you can honestly acknowledge something meaningful, even if something small, it’s a start. It might be uncomfortable, but it needs to become less so. The only way that’ll happen is if we do it more.
To be honest, I’m sure it’ll never really be the norm. Low self-esteem seems endemic to the species. But that only increases the need and the positive impact a few kind words can have.
When someone does something positive for you, thank them — honestly and meaningfully.
When someone uses their talents on your behalf, acknowledge it — honestly and meaningfully.
If someone’s just a wonderful addition to your life, tell them — honestly and meaningfully.
Think of the times you’ve received those kinds of compliments and words of encouragement, and how you’ve felt.
This is your way to spread the love.
Wonderful advice ! I’ll follow it !
Thanks ! I appreciate it !
I’ve been trying to make it a habit to voice the nice things I think about someone instead of keeping it to myself.
“Thank you for your kindness” to the person that helped me lift a heavy bag of mulch (another customer, not an employee).
“You have a beautiful smile” to the gal that hands me my coffee.
“I appreciate how carefully you bagged my groceries” to the checkout lady.
“Your voice is amazing” to the guy on the other side of the drive-thru speaker.
“That hat is so lovely on you” to the lady waiting for the bus back to her senior living center.
Once I started doing it, I was amazed at the number of nice things that were in my head but never made it to my lips compared to the not-so-nice things in my head that all too often found their voice.
Leo,
You get better and better. I love the way you think.