(Updated from a couple of years ago. I was about to write something about “is this what finally kills me” — an anxiety that increases in intensity as we age — and noted that it was already a small part of this larger topic.)
It almost feels trendy to talk about anxiety these days.
In part, I suppose, it’s become more prevalent because of the pandemic, and politics, and social media, and, and, and …
But has it, though? Has become more prevalent, or just more visible?
Based on my experience, I would say: why not both?
Here’s the thing: I’m not someone you might consider anxious. My more-or-less laid back personality is center stage most of the time.
Backstage, it’s a different story. The monkeys are so very busy. I worry. A lot.
- Is that most recent ache or pain what finally kills me? (Or, this week, symptoms of food poisoning.)
- Did I look at that person inappropriately? Are they now annoyed with me?
- Did that person just take a longer path in order to avoid me?
- Why has that person not replied to my email yet?
- Did I accidentally insult someone?
- Will whatever’s happening to our country hurt people I care about?
- Oh, yeah, WTF is happening to our country?
- What’s up with <person I care about>’s health? Will they be OK?
- Am I spending my time wisely?
- Are we doing the right thing(s) to treat our dog’s pain? Will we make “the decision” at the right time? (While a recurring concern, not current.)
- Will there be a world war? Will it strike close to home?
- Do people still care about me?
You get the idea. In reality, it’s a much longer list.
That the answers are often obvious is beside the point. Yes, I know there are people who care about me. But reality rarely has a direct a relationship to anxiety. Anxiety persists. Anxiety questions. Anxiety tells you what you believe to be true isn’t.
That I have anxiety is not the point. Not even close.
The point is this: we all have anxiety. What differs is only the degree and the topics. To be a caring human is to worry … about each other, about the future, about our family, about so many things.
Which brings me to my true point. Something I’ve said/quoted/misquoted so many times.
Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.
Except, we do know.
We have a tiny window, knowing that anxiety is everywhere, because we see it in ourselves daily.
Be kind.
Thank you for this Leo…and I can understand what your saying here. Life does have its challenges….I think it also is important to know “how you respond” to these challenges…or cope for a better word.
I remember a time you had asked me about my 2 older brothers…they passed away tragically….I honestly did not know how to respond to you at the time…or even feel safe becouse of the way they died by suicide. It took me a long while to have courage enough to say..it’s ok to talk about it. There is always that ” judgement” side of life….but if someone doesnt understand this sort of thing or say they were selfish to do this. I respond …that they are the ones being selfish. Anyhow i am fine talking about it now…
But it just goes back to your response of “you never know what battles people are going through”
It’s important to talk about your feelings with someone who will be supportive. Because sometimes they will say “hey, that sounds like more than average, maybe you could use some help?” We can’t see our insides from the outside, we need another person’s perspective.