They can be so persuasive
The setup is simple: you’re approached by someone for perhaps some innocuous reason. They strike up a conversation that you find engaging. They’re charming, and you feel comfortable with them, so you take it further.
Over time, you become more engaged. You like what they have to say. They flatter you in all the right ways, telling you how much better you are than all the others that came before. They promise you the world.
They make you feel special.
At some point, of course, they ask you for money. Nothing large, maybe a small amount to help them in a tight spot. You think nothing of it, being happy to help them out. You feel an affinity for them, after all.
Then they ask for more. Again, you believe in what and who they are, you feel attracted to what they have to say, and find yourself validated by their sweet talk. The relationship has become more serious, so why wouldn’t you want to help them out? You’re invested in the relationship and don’t want to risk being rejected for hesitating or saying no. You do what it takes, and you help them out even further.
Eventually, even though it might make you the tiniest bit uncomfortable, you find yourself aligning with their behavior and beliefs. Clearly, they “get” you, deeply, so your affinity with them feels natural. You support them in any way you can.
Whoever you’re interacting with is online only. They might have a public online presence, but it’s at least consistent with what you’ve been told. They’re charismatic, and their appeals to you are on-target, persuasive, and encourage you ever deeper into the relationship.
In the meantime, your friends have started to ask questions. They’ve seen this before, and they don’t like what they see now. They say your relationship is changing you, and not for the better. You’re defensive, and feel the need to protect the object of your affections … sometimes beyond all reasonableness. Your friends start to warn you that you’re throwing your money away. That your affections aren’t really being returned, and that it looks like you’re just being used in a big scam to extract money, and to establish power over you.
At this point, you’re too invested. It’s too late. You’re in too deep to be convinced. You’ll argue and defend to the point of losing your former friends.
Eventually, all you’re left with is significantly less money, even fewer friends, and a relationship that, if you were to truly admit it, is clearly one-sided. You’re still getting validation from your paramour, but not much else. The object of your desire, however, has gotten money, devotion, and a vehement defense against others.
And votes.
Romance scams aren’t limited to prospective (and fake) personal love interests.
This is the romance scam that is politics.
It’s a political candidate who’s sweet-talking you. It’s that candidate echoing how special you are, how much they “get” you, and how much better you are compared to their rivals. It’s the candidate who’s promising you the world.
And it’s that candidate’s community that’s accepted you as one of them, and who’ll ostracise you should you fail to appropriately support their cause.
Meanwhile, your existing community of friends is calling you out on the viewpoints you’ve come to adopt as part of your political relationship, and they’re warning you that it all seems like a big scam to get your money and for your candidate to garner more power.
There are certainly situations where you might support a cause you organically believe in, but this isn’t that. This is a situation where you’re being manipulated and used for someone else’s gain. Just like a real romance scam.
And just like a real romance scam, you risk being taken for everything you have.
Perhaps even more, if you include democracy.